I sometimes feel like I am on a constant search to find the “thing” that will make me “better.”

We seriously sometimes think there is some thing or some circumstance that will make us better. We think, once I get married, once I have kids, once I get that job, or the promotion, or when I lose the weight. Or we think if they, some person in our life, would just be better then we would be too. But getting the thing or accomplishing some goal or reaching whatever circumstance we think we want will not make us “better.”

I have decided to think that I do not need to be “better” or “fixed” because I am not broken. I am human. (I am a person in need of a Savior because I easily fall into sin.) I have decided to accept my humanness and believe in God’s love for me. I am learning how to live in my humanity realizing the beauty and the struggle and practicing living deeper into all of it. I am practicing living more peacefully in the tension between the ideal and the real.

I have decided to agree with God that only He can change me/transform me as I renew my mind on His Truth.

Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in His eyes. Romans 12:2 TPT

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV

God is our Help, Hope, Provider, Healer, Savior, Strength, Peace, Protection, Joy, Comforter, Counselor, Lover of our soul! He makes our lives better! As we TRUST Him! As we believe what His Word says.

God will transform us as we sit in His presence as we pour out our heart to Him as we read His Truth and believe it for ourselves. 

We come into an intimate experience with God’s love as we spend time with Him.

My hope and prayer as I write and share is that we can each proclaim like The Passion Translation of 1 John 4:16 says, “We have come into an intimate experience with God’s love, and we trust in the love He has for us. God is love! Those who are living in load are living in God, and God lives through them.”

It makes me think of the children’s book You Are Special by Max Lucado. “The story of Punchinello, the wooden Wemmick who believe that he isn’t good enough because of what others say about him.” In the book the Wemmick people are constantly putting gold stars, for things they think are good, and/or gray dots, for things they think are bad, on each other. When the Wemmick’s spend time with their Maker the neither the stars nor the dots stick. As they spend time with their Maker they remember who they are and whose they are and it doesn’t matter what other people think.

“We are precious to God just the way we are. It is through spending daily time with Him that we begin to see ourselves through His eyes.”

I was listening to A Wrinkle in Time recently, and Madeleine L’Engle said in her book, “If someone knows who he is, really knows, then he doesn’t need to hate.” If we spend time with God and we know who we are and whose we are what other people say/think doesn’t stick to us and we no longer hate because we know love, believe in that love for us, and want to share that love with others.

This is an on-going battle. This is a fight for our lives. We must stay aware. We must know what we are facing and be prepared. We must not resign to just going through the motions of life.

Be well balanced and always alert, because your enemy, the devil, roams around incessantly, like a roaring lion looking for its prey to devour. Take a decisive stand against him and resist his every attack with strong, vigorous faith. For you know that your believing brothers and sisters around the world are experiencing the same kinds of troubles you endure. 1 Peter 5:8-9 TPT

We are all in the battle. We are not alone. Everyone is experiencing the same kinds of troubles. The people and circumstances just look different in each of our lives.

I have shared this before, one of my favorite quotes, that has had a huge impact on my life, is from Louder Than Words by Andy Stanley.

“Who will you be in five years? Ten years? I’m not referring to your role or job title. For just a moment, lay aside the dreams that involve your career or net worth. I’m talking about what you hope to find on the inside. What kind of person do you hope to become?

Today, you took a step. You either moved closer to or further away from what you hoped to be. Most people moved further away. A handful overcame the negative inertia of this fallen world and moved forward. But nobody — nobody — stood still.”

There is a negative inertia in this fallen world.

In A Wrinkle in Time Madeline L’Engle does a wonderful job giving us the imagery of this negative inertia with the IT. The IT is a darkness, a looming heaviness and cold, that is pulsating. IT pulls people into its negativity and hate. In the book the only thing that conquers the IT is love. Love fights against the darkness. The darkness cannot withstand LOVE.

We must remember God’s love for us. We must stand firm on His love.

I must remember God! Rely on and rest in His love for me as I am. You must remember God! We must be spending time with Him, in prayer, in silence, in His Word, practicing believing. Day by day. Moment by moment. Awareness of Him and His power in us. Experiencing His miracle and mystery in our lives.

We keep doing our work, taking responsibility for our life, and trusting God to work in us.

We will not always get is right. We will still struggle. So, we practice grace and self-compassion, and we receive God’s grace and compassion. And hopefully we are surrounded by loving family, friends, community, who can lift us up when we are down, and we lift them up when they are down.

We practice believing that God is our ultimate source! Remembering He is always welcoming us home. Remembering His favor is upon us and all He has is ours. We accept. We receive. Again, and again.

Keep seeking! Keep believing! Keep discovering!