This verse keeps coming to mind…. Listen, those of you who are boasting, “Today or tomorrow we’ll go to another city and spend some time and go into business and make heaps of profit!” But you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring. For your fleeting life is but a warm breath of air that is visible in the cold only for a moment and then vanishes! Instead you should say, “Our tomorrows are in the Lord’s hands and if he is willing we will live life to its fullest and do this or that.” James 4:13-15 TPT

My youngest son, Gabe, who lives in Queens, was in a motorcycle accident on Sunday. He is okay for the most part but has follow-up appointments and issues to still be figured out. I flew up to NY on Monday to be with him and help. I am extremely grateful to have the flexibility of schedule and means to come be with him.

Gabe was on his way to church Sunday afternoon on his motorcycle when a vehicle obviously didn’t see him and pulled out in front of him.

It is crazy how everything can change in an instant.

I was scheduled to come to New York city next week for work. Sunday evening, I booked a new flight and planned to stay for two weeks, thinking I may still be able to do my work events, just take the subway to the city.

We weren’t sure how bad Gabe’s injuries were or weren’t. The few times we were able to talk to him on the phone he kept saying, “he was good.” But he also kept giving us a new injury.

I enjoy getting to visit NYC. I like getting coffee and sitting in Bryant Park in the morning before my meetings. I like walking the streets. I like the sights and sounds. I like eating good food in restaurants that aren’t available where I live. I just like experiencing NYC and all it’s big city beauty. My son had gotten us tickets for Jimmy Fallon. We had plans for a fun time together next week. But I would learn those plans got derailed by this accident. It is a little, silly, grief of something I will not get to do. It is an opportunity for me to feel what I feel, practice self-compassion, and manage my thoughts.

I think Gabe is doing remarkable well for what he has been/is going through. His mind is sound and he is doing his best to maintain a positive attitude. We still have many unanswered medical concerns, but the system seems to move incredibly slow up here. He is in pain from his injuries but his injuries are not life threatening so he is not top priority. Which can be hard to accept. Another mind management opportunity.

My son has lots to grieve right now. His life could be forever altered. We are praying for a complete recovery with no on-going complications. I know God is with Gabe and for Gabe. I know Gabe is resilient and strong. I also know all of this is HARD. He has a long road of recovery in front of him. He has a huge obstacle in his path that wasn’t there a few days ago.

He has been accepted into the Marine’s Officer Training Program for this summer. He trained for over a year and was finally accepted back in December for the 2-year summer program. We are afraid a dream of his has died with his injuries. We will know more after seeing a specialist. Maybe even a dream of a career path has died. Through all this, I hope to be a good example of feeling what you feel, practicing self-compassion, and managing your thoughts for him.

Then there are all the other things that are causing me to get to do some extra feeling my feelings, practicing self-compassion, and managing my thoughts.

For example, I have had a cold for weeks that seems to have settled into Bronchitis in my lungs. Gabe keeps telling me that I am going to kill him with my germs when I have a coughing fit. Tuesday, I was going to go to Target to get some cough syrup and a few things we needed. When I got to Gabe’s vehicle it was dead. Thankfully we have AAA. I called them and requested service. Queens roads can be confusing and the first service vehicle they sent didn’t find me, so I had to try again.

A little thing I know having to wait for AAA to find you to fix your vehicle so you can go to Target but when your emotions are high and you’ve been under stress a while and you don’t feel good, it can feel like A LOT. More opportunities to practice awareness of what I am feeling, be self-compassionate and manage my thoughts.

Then yesterday there is the insurance to deal with, and driving to Flushing to the 109^th precinct to get the accident report, and plans to change… all the stuff. I am sure you can relate. I am sure there has been a time when all the things seemed to be piling up, so much to figure out, one after another, and it all starts to feel overwhelming.

“This is all part of it,” I remind myself. Nothing has gone wrong. God is still in control.

So, I allow the feelings. I practice the Flow Tool I mentioned last week. I breathe. I acknowledge it’s hard. I eat a cookie. I try to be gracious and kind to myself so that in turn I can be gracious and kind to others as we move forward through this circumstance.

I make a list of what I need to do; the calls I need to make, the information I need to find, the chores I need to do, the emails I need to write, etc., 8 items. Then I move forward slowly, persistently, despite inconveniences and setbacks, and at the end of the day I’ve done 7 of the 8 items on my list. I tell myself, “well done.”

I’m not saying this is easy but it is possible. It takes practice and we get better at it the more we practice. I am having to practice intentional awareness of my thoughts. Take the unhelpful thoughts captive and remember Truth. Over and over and over again throughout each day. 

I’m feeling what I feel about each little thing, all the circumstances, everything for the past several weeks. I’m being kind to myself and not beating myself up for feeling what I feel. Telling myself when the unhelpful thought comes, “there goes my brain again trying to be helpful but not succeeding.” Giving myself a second to pause and consider what’s true and helpful. 

I’m practicing not “should of-ing” myself or the circumstances. I’m trying to practice accepting what is and figuring out how we move forward well from here. It’s an on-going, moment by moment, process as I trust God to be my strength and the Holy Spirit to guide me. 

And I practice being thankful. I am thankful Gabe is alive, in one piece, and mostly his fun-loving, sometimes cantankerous, self. I remember and am thankful for all the people praying for Gabe, showing concern, helping out.

Gabe attends a Koran church near his apartment. He met a friend at school who invited him. The church people are loving on Gabe. It’s such a beautiful thing, the Body of Christ! His friend picked me up from the airport. And they have been bringing us meals. There is Hope in the hard.

I know God loves Gabe so much and is holding him in His righteous right hand. I believe that God is working for Gabe’s good. I am trying to stay open to the fact that what I think is good for Gabe and what God thinks might not be the same.

If God is trying to send me a message that life is precious, I hear Him. I am practicing remembering that God is working for my good too.

Whatever you are going through, friend, God is working for your good!

Keep seeking and discovering God’s goodness in the messiness and hard, in the uncertain and scary. He is with us! He never leaves us! He is here, helping us every step of the way.

Thank you in advance for any thoughts or prayers on our behalf!

Grace and Peace!