Sometimes I feel frozen by what to do next, knowing where to start, what dream do I really want to pursue, or wondering what I should be working on….at the same time I hear my life coach saying, “that is just your brain doing what a brain does,” and if I feel stuck then probably, I do nothing.

Our brains focus on 3 simple motivations to increase the odds of our survival:

1. avoid pain, 2) seek pleasure, 3) conserve energy.

We will always be motivated to do something that won’t hurt us, feels good and is easy.

So, when I want to do something new or try something hard my brain immediately starts saying you are fine as you are, there is no reason to do anything, let’s just sit here eat chips and salsa and watch Netflix.

I want motivation, direction, clarity. Really what I want is for it to be easy. For achieving the goal to be easy or doing the next right thing to be easy.

Too often I look at other people’s lives, how far along they are, what they have accomplished, and think “I’ll never get there.” But usually I am looking at the result of lots of hard work to get where they are.

Then I tell myself, “with God anything is possible.” I tell myself I need to think a new thought, believe what is possible, and if I really want “it” I need to start taking the small step I can take today to move in that direction. Do the work. I need to step forward in faith as God leads. That all sounds great. It’s the actual doing part that is often hard.

I guess I’m coming to understand, but struggling to accept, that mind-management is an on-going battle. We will improve with time, but we’ll always be working on it.

It reminds me of when my boys were little, and I would think once we figure “this” out we’ll be good. Like we’d focus on working on a specific issue with a specific child and about the time we got it figured out and I’d start thinking, “yay, smooth sailing ahead,” a new issue would arise to work on.

My life coach also says, “Discomfort is the currency of achieving your dreams.” She is always telling us that we can choose our discomfort. We can grow and chase our dreams and make ourselves uncomfortable that way. Or we can not grow and live with the disappointment of not reaching for our goals, either way is hard. We choose our discomfort. The discomfort of doing new things and pursuing our dreams. Or we can choose “comfort” now and experience discomfort later because we will have sacrificed the life we really wanted.

There is discomfort when there is growth that is why they call it growing pains.

Also, figuring stuff, life, a specific thing, out is often uncomfortable. We must tell ourselves, “This is important to me. I want to figure it out so I’m willing to be uncomfortable.”

I was recently thinking about the changing of the seasons, specifically going from winter to spring. I live in East Tennessee and we have all four seasons. The transition from winter to spring can be volatile at times. One day it is 70 degrees and sunny, then the next day it is cold and rainy. The temperature can go from 67 during the day to 30 at night. It can be windy and seemingly unpredictable.

I sometimes feel my emotions are like the changing seasons, all over the place, especially if I am working on an area of my life. Recently I was working on an area and overreacted to a person when they did what they always do telling me what I should do. I asked my Spiritual Director about it later and she said that was totally normal. Since I had always been to one extreme when I was trying to find a new normal, I initially went to the opposite extreme. She explained that it would take time for me to find my new “center.”

I have found it extremely helpful to practice meditation, whether it is 3 minutes or 5 minutes, or 20 minutes. As I have practiced quieting my spirit in the presence of the Lord, focusing on a word, or an image, or reciting the Jesus Prayer, I have found that I am calmer and can more quickly return to my center when I’ve been stirred up by something. Meditation is a discipline I am practicing.

We must keep practicing.

This is all part of it.

We must be kind to ourselves if we want to reach our dreams. We must build the belief inside us, think positive thoughts, practice believing, commit to believing, develop our muscles, keep going, and not give up! We must commit to the process not the result.

Change is possible. Reaching our goal is possible. We may feel like a pendulum sometimes as we swing back and forth and figure out where our “center” is. We may feel stuck and uncertain of the next move.

This is all part of it.

We can practice awareness. We can acknowledge our discomfort. We can tell our brain we know what it is up to. We can say a prayer, ask for help, and choose. Then practice self-compassion as one day we move forward in the discomfort and another we may choose to sit and watch Netflix.

This is all part of it.

Keep seeking and discovering! I believe in you! We can do hard things.