If you profess love to someone, then you should practice showing them love with your words and actions. This sounds so nice. And I wish that it were always true, that when someone professed love then loving actions followed but sadly, we know that is not the case.

I have good news. We can feel love no matter what someone else does or does not do.

I used to get upset when people said one thing and did another, especially if it was someone close to me. I used to get upset when it felt like people were shaming and blaming me. I used to let other people’s poor choices, their irresponsibility, their words, and actions directly affect me. I used to get upset when people close to me said they loved me, but nothing about what they were doing felt loving.

I thought that I was getting upset because of what was happening to me, because of my circumstances, because of what someone else was or was not doing, but I learned that it was my thinking about what was happening that was creating my feelings.

I thought that I got to experience love when someone else showed me love. I thought that I felt good when people were kind. I thought I experienced peace when my circumstances were going smoothly. I thought I had happy emotions when things were going the way I thought they should.

But I have learned that we feel love when we think loving thoughts. I have learned that I experience peace when I am grateful and count my blessings even when situations are difficult. I have learned that I experience joy when I trust God’s goodness in all of life.

What we think determines how we feel.

Someone else “making” us feel love feels nice, seems logical, but it is our thoughts that create our feelings, how we are thinking about whatever they are doing. Our lives going “smoothly” is nice and can make us feel good but thinking thankful thoughts and realizing that life is full of ups and downs creates joy despite our troubling circumstances.

I have learned that I decide with my thinking what I make what other people are doing mean. I choose to let it affect me or not with my thinking.

I have realized my power to change. My agency over my life. My power to decide the thoughts I let ruminate in my head.

I have stopped wasting my energy trying to change the people in my life to make me “feel” better. Instead, I decided to work on changing me. Changing the story, I told myself. Changing the way I think about struggles and challenges and other people’s decisions. Deciding to take full responsibility for what I create in my life. Letting go of expecting others to make me feel a certain way.

I always get to experience love when I choose to think loving thoughts.

I get to experience peace when I think peaceful thoughts.

I get to experience joy when I think joyful thoughts.

(And for me this all has to do with thinking on God’s Truth. For example: I am His child. I am loved by The King. I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I am filled with grace and power. I am enough. My worth and value are in Jesus Christ. Etc. Thinking on what is pure, lovely, admirable, praise worth, true, just, honorable. Philippians 4:8)

Love is always available as a choice we can make. We think loving thoughts and we feel love.

When we live from a place of love, then love should naturally flow through our words and actions. When we live rooted, grounded, established in God’s love for us then His love flow out of us and is a blessing to the people in our lives.

May you be found resting in God’s love for you! Knowing your worth and value is in Him, in who He says you are, not in anything else. From this place of knowing Love, may you show up in love with your words and actions towards others!

Generate love for yourself and then show up in love for others, without needing something from them.

The world needs more LOVE.