Do you ever have those days or those weeks or those months where you just can’t seem to get ahead, or it feels like nothing you do is right, or life just feels overwhelming. Maybe you had a trip or a work thing that threw off your “normal” rhythm and then it seems you just cannot find it again. You feel “behind” all week. Little things aggravate you. You easily spiral into sadness, or doubts, or insecurities.

Or a day when you heard a good sermon at church, and you felt so encouraged, then when you get home your kids cannot get along, no one has their homework done for Monday, and you end up yelling.

Or an evening when you go to an event, or a book study, and you feel great when you leave then you get home and have an argument with your spouse over something trivial.

Or all the “little” things begin to stack up, there is the thing at work, the deal with your kid, something with your health, and the misunderstanding with your spouse. There are also the expectations of your parents or in-laws, and you forgot to pay that bill, with all the other stuff you are trying to remember to do and keep everyone happy and not go crazy in the process!

We ALL have these experiences. It is part of the human experience. Nothing has gone wrong.

We live in a world where it is a battle to stay focused on what is true, lovely, good, positive, and honorable.

We have brains that go to the negative and tell us unhelpful stories and fill in information with inaccurate data.

We must be aware of this. We must pay attention. We must be prepared for the battle. We must live intentionally. BUT IT IS NOT EASY.

There is a natural “ebb and flow” to life. I like the “flow.” I like when things are going along smoothly. I like when I feel I am heading in the “right” direction. I like feeling relatively happy and getting along with others. But in the “ebb,” when it feels like everything and everyone keep knocking me down. I keep getting pull under by all the expectations and pressure and “life.”

In the ebb of life, I can tell myself all day, “I choose the thoughts I think. I renew my mind on Truth. I read encouraging scriptures and claim them as true over my life. I cry out to God in prayer. I give Him everything. I focus and refocus on what is true, lovely, good, positive, and honorable.” And after doing all those things, when I do not feel “better,” instead I still feel in the struggle, I start to judge myself, doubt myself, get angry and irritable.

In these moments, I must choose to accept God’s grace for me, recognize my continued need for Him, and practice self-compassion.

Not beat myself up.

Beating ourselves up, being self-loathing, and spiraling in despair helps NO ONE. It is actually quite selfish. Because when we start feeling like a failure and are in shame which cause us to want to fight, flight, or freeze, we are only thinking about ourselves. We become so focused on ourselves and on what we think is going wrong or on what we think should be different, that we are no longer able to see the present and/or see the people right in front of us.

In these tough moments, I try to practice gratitude for even the smallest thing. If I can start listing what I am grateful for it helps bring my mind out of the negative thought loop. Now I might have to do this every hour throughout the day. I might have to keep practicing gratitude for days on end until the storm passes, until I can see the light again. I gently remind myself, “This too shall pass. All shall be well, eventually.”

I recently read, “‘Ebb and flow’ means that sometimes our life flows toward our hopes and dreams, and sometimes it flows away. In periods of flow, life is easy and full of meaning and movement. But when our life ebbs, we may be struggling against the current, fighting to get a grasp on what is important to us.” – Dawn Elizabeth

In all of life, I must practice keeping God before me. I must remember to talk to God all day long in my head, which I have found is way more productive than worrying about things I cannot control. I practice being kind to myself. I practice accepting where I am. I practice managing my thoughts. I practice trusting and believing in God’s goodness and love for me in all my ups and downs.

Keep seeking and discovering!