Dog training.  

Roscoe is our wonderful, rambunctious, full of energy 6-month-old Chocolate Lab. He is smart. He is also easily distracted.

At our first dog training class learning to use a training collar, my husband and I were trying to be good students, listen to all that the trainer was teaching/explaining/ showing us, while watching our dog’s behavior, and practicing the commands with Roscoe ourselves. It was an intense hour.

Near the end of the hour when we were tired, and Roscoe’s brain was close to fired by all the training and excitement, our trainer decided to bring out another dog. Our trainer said the idea was for the other dog to be a distraction and for us to keep Roscoe doing the commands, not running off to get the other dog. It was a lot.

At moments, I thought Roscoe was confused about who to listen to. Dean and I were confused at moments trying to pay attention to the trainer and Roscoe at the same time. We were trying to use the new training collar correctly, but it all felt hard. In our confusion, we almost let Roscoe get to the other dog. Our trainer got stern with us and finally explained why it was so important for us to not let Roscoe “win”, get what he wanted when we were telling him not to. It made good sense, but it felt so harsh the way she did it and I wondered why she had not started out by telling us why it was so important.

Our trainer has been doing this for years. She has all the knowledge in her head, and it comes naturally to her because of the years of practice. She seems to handle our dog effortlessly. He listens to her so well. It can feel frustrating to not get the same results when we try to get Roscoe to do something.

Our trainer is only with Roscoe for one hour once a week. We are with him everyday throughout the day. It is much easier to wear someone down that you are with all the time. Our trainer is, trained and novel, that is what we are paying her for. We are thankful she is good at her job. We are new at this, beginners, so of course we are not going to get it right all the time.

I wished that instead of being stern with us, that our trainer had said something like, “I know this is a lot to take in, to practice, and remember. I have been doing this for years, be patient and kind with yourselves as you practice and get better at it. Remember, it is extremely important that Roscoe does not “win” because if he does it will be hard to undo the bad habits he will learn.”

All this causes me to think about training children. If we, the parent, say one thing and do another or threaten and do not follow through or allow them to back-talk, our children learn what they can get away with. It may not seem like a big deal when they are little, or when my dog is a puppy, but if they learn the “bad” habits while they are young, it will be a big deal when they are a teenager or an 80-pound dog.

Train up a child in the way he should go;
    even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 ESV

What we repeatedly do becomes a habit. What we practice doing becomes what we train ourselves to do. Sometimes we repeatedly do something without really thinking it and develop a habit we do not want. The extra effort early in life is important. It is work. It feels hard. We may wonder, is it worth it. It IS!

I wonder, how do we accept that it is hard but also acknowledge it IS worth the effort?

How do we nicely, kindly, compassionately, admit that it is challenging AND recognize that we are up to the challenge?

What is it about our world that makes us think things should be easier than they are?

What makes us think we should know how to do things without practice or training?

Why is it that we must tell ourselves that we “can do hard things” instead of just knowing that doing hard things is part of life and God has equipped us to handle life?

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 ESV

Practice/training is part of every aspect of life.

We practice a thought, and it becomes a habit. We practice a skill and we become a Master of It.

We are trained for a new job or position. We practice the work, and we get better at it.

We practice communicating in relationships and our relationships improve.  

We train ourselves with repeated practice.

We are students of life. We have never done this before which means we are going to need some practice to get better at it. We are figuring life out as we go. Hopefully there are people ahead of us on the journey who are willing to share their experience, point out possible dangers, normalize some of the emotions for us, and speak hope into our lives.

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior. Titus 2:2-10 ESV

My husband and I are paying a trainer to help us train our dog because she is practiced in this area. She has skills we do not have, and we want to glean from her wisdom.

You have skills, experiences, knowledge that someone else does not have and you could share that wisdom with others to help them along their journey. Let’s practice kindness in our sharing. Let’s remember where we once were and encouragingly spur one another along. Let’s hold space for ourselves to be where we are and be willing to hold space for others to be where they are, all the while trusting that we are exactly where we are supposed to be because this is where we are.

In this “training” called life, how can we remove some of the judgment of ourselves and judgment of others that we so often like to point out? What if we practiced noticing and empathizing with others? Instead of being like, “how could you,” “why didn’t you do better,” “don’t you know what will happen if you,” what if we said, “I’ve been there,” “this is a lot, but you will get through,” “I know it feels overwhelming, but it will get easier,” “here are some things that helped me.”

What if we choose to view life as a training ground? We realized that each of us are at different levels of training, and we practiced being kind to all the people at every level. How can we strive to be like those at levels above us, and be compassionate towards those at levels below us?

What if we choose to not be afraid of admitting our struggles and asking for help?

What if we practiced accepting our full humanity and the humanity of others?

What if we practiced enjoying all of life with its ups and downs, emotions, struggles, joys, celebrations, trials, successes?

Practice/training is part of every aspect of life.

We train ourselves with repeated practice.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off big-time, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7-11 MSG

Keep up the good work! It IS worth it!