We repeat movements, routines, thought patterns.

We repeat choices and each time we repeat a choice we are developing a habit.

If I eat a bowl of ice cream every night after dinner, I will develop a habit of eating ice cream every night after dinner. I will begin to fix the bowl of ice cream without even thinking about it after dinner. I may even begin to think I have no control over my actions. Now eating a bowl of ice cream after dinner may seem like a silly example but this is true for almost everything.

We develop patterns by repeatedly doing an action. We develop some of these habits early in life to keep us alive. Our brains create ruts over time, and we will get to the point where our brain automatically does the thing we have trained it to do and it can feel like we have no control over it. But as I have learned from Dr. Caroline Leaf what we wire into our brains by our thinking we can wire out of our brains with our thinking.

For example, if we learn to put ourselves down internally, if we beat ourselves up with our thoughts, and we do this over and over and over again, it will become our natural response to when we make a mistake or do something we don’t like. But we can train ourselves to treat ourselves a different way. We can practice self-compassion with our thoughts and over time create new healthy pathways in our brains.

We learn by repeatedly doing. We usually start with something small and add on. Like when someone wants to become good at a sport or play an instrument they practice. They practice drills, skills, scales, for hours, repeating the same movements until they become second nature. Once they learn a set of skills or scales then they add on a more complex skill or scale and practice until they learn it.

I think we tend to forget that this is what happens in all areas of our lives. We do something so often that it becomes a habit. Now with playing a sport or an instrument we are being intentional about developing those skills.

We started developing some of our habits as children just doing the best we could to survive. Then as adults we tend to think, well this is just the way I am. But thankfully if we taught ourselves to be this way, we can choose to be intentional and teach ourselves new habits.

I have found that awareness is the first step to change.

We can practice being aware of what we do. We observe ourselves. We begin realizing we have power. We have the power to choose.

We practice awareness. We practice observing our habits. We become aware of the habits we want to do and the habits we would prefer not to do.

As we practice awareness and self-compassion, we can train ourselves to choose to pause before reacting giving us the chance to assess and respond.

We get curious and ask ourselves questions about what we want to do, about what habits do we want to develop.

We can ask ourselves, is this habit serving me? Is this habit helpful? Does this habit make me more of the person I want to be?

We can practice awareness around the way we interact with others; do we use kind words, or do we typically speak angrily? We become aware of our actions then ask ourselves, how do I want to interact with others, and be intentional about practicing developing those skills. Over time, little by little. Not giving up because we react poorly occasionally, that will happen. We are human. We will make mistakes, but it doesn’t mean we are not improving.

We can practice awareness around how we keep our house; do we leave dirty dishes in the sink or things strewn about or do we wash our dishes when we are done with them and put things away where they belong?

Or around rushing and being busy verse simplifying and going slow?

We can ask ourselves questions around everything in our lives.

We can be intentional about choosing what we do and do not do.

We learned to do things a certain way, we can teach ourselves to do them a new way.

We can teach ourselves to respond differently.

We decide what we want, then we begin to choose to do things differently. This will take effort. Our bodies and brains like doing things the way they have always been done. It takes energy to change so we will have to choose to do the work and choose to be intentional.

We will have to practice the new way of doing things, developing a new habit.

It will take time.

We will make mistakes or have slip ups but that is totally normal. Our brains have been used to doing something a certain way for years so of course it is going to try to convince us to do it that way. But we have the power to choose!

We can choose to tell ourselves a new story. We can tell ourselves, “I am learning new things.” “I am developing new skills.” “I am practicing being kind. Or I am becoming more kind.” “I am practicing neatness.” “I am developing a simpler more fulling way of living.” “I am a student of life.”

Tell yourself whatever motivates you to PRACTICE the new skills. And reward yourself along the way for doing the work and improving.

Think how proud you will be of you in a year for all the work you are doing. Think how happy your future self will be that you did the work to create the life you want.

And as Christ-followers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit in us available to us all the time. The Holy Spirit is willing to help us if we ask. I have found that when I have been wanting to develop a new habit or get rid of a habit I don’t like, and I feel I can’t do it that if I surrender it to God, ask the Holy Spirit to help me, He makes a way. I’m not saying I instantly change but He provides answers and encouragement and strength when I need it as I practice awareness of Him.

The first step is practicing awareness. We don’t know till we pause and become aware. We don’t know till God shows us. And when He shows us, He wants to help us get to where we want to do.

“The person who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius

Whatever change you want to make may seem like a mountain in front of you. We are not trying to move the whole thing in one day, just carry away one small stone today. Take a step in the right direction and then keep moving forward each day, doing the work and six months or a year from now you’ll look back and be surprised by how far you’ve come or how different this area of your life looks.

“I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20 NLT

Pray and ask for the faith to move the mountain in your life.

I used to think God would help us move a literal mountain, and He could, but one day He told me He also wants to help us move the mountains of pain, of hurt, of anxiety, of depression, of bad eating habits, of being judgmental, or of being gluttonous, or selfish, or comparing, or gossiping, or overreacting, or being too busy, or putting our hope in the wrong things, whatever the mountain. He will help you!

Keep seeking and discovering!