“’We are meant to live in joy,’ the Archbishop explained. ‘This does not mean that life will be easy or painless. It means that we can turn our faces to the wind and accept that this is the storm we must pass through. We cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.’ The Archbishop had said that when one grows in the spiritual life, ‘You are able to accept anything that happens to you.’ You accept the inevitable frustrations and hardships as part of the warp and woof of life. The question, he had said, is not: How do we escape it? The question is: How can we use this as something positive?”

“Acceptance – whether we believe in God or not – allows us to move into the fullness of joy. It allows us to engage with life on its own terms rather than rail against the fact that life is not as we would wish. It allows us not to struggle against the day-to-day current. The Dalai Lama had told us that stress and anxiety come from our expectations of how life should be. When we are able to accept that life is how it is, not as we think it should be, we are able to ease stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction, to the smooth axle (sukha), with its greater ease, comfort, and happiness.

So many of the causes of suffering come from our reacting to the people, places, things, and circumstances in our lives, rather than accepting them. When we react, we stay locked in judgment and criticism, anxiety and despair, even denial and addiction. It is impossible to experience joy when we are stuck this way. Acceptance is the sword that cuts through all of this resistance, allowing us to relax, to see clearly, and to respond appropriately.

Much of traditional Buddhist practice is directed toward the ability to see life accurately, beyond all the expectations, projections, and distortions that we typically bring to it. Meditative practice allows us to quiet the distracting thoughts and feelings so that we can perceive reality, and respond to it more skillfully. The ability to be present in each moment is nothing more and nothing less than the ability to accept the vulnerability, discomfort, and anxiety of everyday life.”

From The Book of JOY, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams, excerpt from pages 224-225

I’m not even sure what I could add to this. It is such wisdom. And I have experienced the life transformation that occurs when we accept what is. When we drop our expectations of others and enjoy who they are. When we pass through the storms of life instead of getting stuck in them. When we aren’t afraid to feel our emotions. When we realize the power we have to choose how we think about a person, a place, or a circumstance.

If we can learn to be honest with ourselves and accept how our life is, we can know JOY no matter what. We can begin to change areas of our lives that need changing. We can be transformed. We can live a better Way!