Our goal is emotional adulthood. We are trained in emotional childhood. As
children we were dependent on others to meet our needs. This dependency
trains us to believe that we are responsible for other people’s feelings and
they are responsible for our feelings. We are taught to believe that how we
feel depends on how other people treat us, what they say to us, and how
they act towards us. We also think of it as something external – something
happens to us and we get down, unhappy, anxious, depressed, doubt,
overwhelm, self-pity, or whatever emotion, then we blame our feelings on
the external thing that happened. 
We learn to like to blame other people, or our circumstances, for how we
feel. Then we often learn to seek ways to feel better fast; for example,
instant gratification through food, alcohol, scrolling social media, shopping,
drugs, etc. It seems like the logical thing to do. Our brains like to get stuck
in emotions because then our brain doesn’t have to do the “work” or practice
thinking a new thought to change. Our brain like taking the easy way. This is
just how our brains work. Once we understand that this is part of it, we can
take our power back, and choose to think new thoughts.
When we function in emotional childhood, we manipulate to get what we
want, we blame others for how we feel, we are dependent on others for our
happiness, we are powerless because we give our power to other people, we
think external things make us happy, we seek instant gratification.
But when we practice choosing how we think about our circumstance, when
we come to understand that how we think causes our emotions, we move to
emotional adulthood. 

In emotional adulthood, we are honest with ourselves and take ownership of
our life, for how we feel. We take responsibility for ourselves. We want what
we have. We are independent and powerful because we choose what we
think. We practice recognizing hard emotions, sitting with them, and working
through them. In emotional adulthood we recognize that no one else needs
to change. We get to decide how we think and feel about the other people in
our lives no matter what they do or do not do. When we become emotionally
mature, we are free to enjoy others, celebrate relationships, be our own best
friend, our own supporter, bring our best self to all our relationships. 
Our life is an inside job – we choose! We generate what we want inside
ourselves. It’s not easy but doing the work is so worth it! So freeing! And we
have the power of the Holy Spirit inside us. He will help us, all we have to do
is ask!
All this doesn’t mean we won’t feel hard emotions like sadness, pain,
depression, betrayal, disappointments, etc. We must learn to feel the
emotion, sit with it, process it, and move through it. When we train
ourselves to feel any emotion, we become free, powerful, live from
acceptance, and can face anything. 
Life is full of uncertainties. We must practice awareness and reflection, not
judgment. We are not responsible for how other people feel. We can only be
responsible for ourselves! Being responsible for yourself will change your
life. You decide what you think. You decide how you show up in the world.
You have more power than you think, use it well!