I like to be. Organized. Prepared. Responsible. Communicate well. Make good decisions.
When I mess up in one of these areas I tend to spiral. When I fail in multiple areas in the same evening I begin to feel like an utter failure in all of life.
I’ve been trying to work on my mind management. I’ve been working on practicing thinking on Truth. Then when I mess up it tanks me. My thoughts go to, “see you messed up again. You’re a failure. Why do you try. You just let people down. Who are you to try to help people, you can’t even get it right.”
I don’t think I’m alone in this dilemma. I believe it’s human nature. But some of us are more prone to a harsh inner voice.
I try to practice thinking better thoughts. I go in my room and pray and ask for help but the feelings are still there. Then I lay in bed and think of all I did wrong and can’t find rest.

I try to remind myself, this is all part of it. The tension between the ideal and the real. Minding the gap between what is and what we want to be, in ourselves and in others.

For the lovers of God may suffer adversity and stumble seven times, but they will continue to rise over and over again. Proverbs 24:16a TPT

We are human. We will make mistakes, overreact, respond poorly, make a bad decision. We must choose to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep going!